I have to confess, as much as I love my blog (and you fine people out there in the dark…oh Sunset Boulevard…) I can’t seem to keep up posting the way I would like to (in an ideal world).  The truth is once I am a penniless writer I will be posting every second for lack of other work, so I need to get used to just babbling here in cyber space.

When really that is the challenge for me: I always try to think carefully about what to say in my blog, how to say it, and why I want other people (people I’ve never met, no less) to know about it, or it about me.  But really, I need to get more used to putting other parts of my work, of not myself, out there. 

I suppose it goes back to the question of what is a blog really - what is its purpose, and what is its purpose for me.  I guess I am still trying to work that out.

So recently I’ve started to mull around the idea of trying to publish and eBook.  I have a few ideas in mind of what direction I can go in, I just need to pick a tester idea and see how it goes (maybe I’ll do all the ones I want if the test is successful!).  The idea I’ll probably go with is a how-to guide for people to do what I’m doing: quitting their jobs and following their passions.  But I am in the research phase currently, and am trying to answer several questions like would anyone be interested, how much do people charge for eBooks, how long should it be, etc.  Any comments or suggestions from people who have written an eBook would be appreciated.

It is Sunday night now and I am counting down the hours before I have to go back to work.  Today was a great day, and what I hope is a glimpse into the future: get up, work some on project A, go to the Stop and Shop, come home and edit Project B, add more to Project C, shower, eat, research Project D, and then top the night off with a little blogging and some more work on Project E.  I felt so productive today, and it was such a great feeling to know that I was working but at the same time bouncing between so many different projects.  For one client I wrote about the affordability of Organic cotton, for another I detailed the virtues of Gwen Stefani’s clothing line, for another I reviewed Microsoft OneNote, and then for another I explained how to manage time as a work at home individual.

totally cool. 

What is it they say on the Burger King ads? I’m lovin’ it? (or is that McDonald’s?)

It just feels so good to be back into this almost college-like extension of self and focus across various genres and projects.  It feels entrepreneurial, it feels creative, and it feels like me.

And that is a great feeling.   

Yea, that was the final sentence of my horoscope for Thursday morning.  Comforting, huh? I spent the whole day thinking that it was an omen that at any minute the hand of fate would strike me down and the sentence would prove it had a very literal meaning.  But then I realized there is no way that could happen, because then all Virgos everywhere would be gone by the end of the day, and that would be 1/12 of the world population…it would be kinda suspicious.

But off of morbidity and onto general griping.  My new boss at work (13 work days left, people!) needs to take a serious chill pill.  He is in that “over-achieving cuz I just started and want to impress my boss” phase, but unfortunately for everyone who works with him it means that he is being something close to a slave driver, because the better product we give, the better he looks.

gag.  He doesn’t understand why no one gets in early (we start at 8), he gets pissed when people take more that 15 minutes at lunch (we get an hour), and he forced everyone to stay an extra half hour every day and then gets more pissed and doesn’t understand when we don’t go the extra mile to stay later than that (cuz we don’t get paid overtime..duh!).

For me, this has just made such a shitty week.  I stare at my computer screen and just have that aweful, stinging, I’m about to cry feeling like I just have to get the f*ck out of there, running away screaming - you know, the way I felt about being there before I had committed to writing and felt like there was just no escape. 

And I only have 3 weeks left!  Why is the cliche “the night is darkest just before the dawn” applying here?! just let me finish in peace, universe, please!  It has been hard enough the last few months, why does it have to be extra hard in the last few weeks?!

I’m just being a little bitch, that’s all (sorry world).  One thing I will look forward to when I finally escape is not needing to complain about the job.  I know I will complain about other things, sure, but I am really sick of complaining about this.  Time to move on.

But yea - 13 work days and counting.

Build me a time machine please…

that is really a note to self.  I am hopelessly forgetful about tagging, which I know in the end is to my own detriment.  It isn’t complicated, and it isn’t hard, I just always forget to do it.  oops.  I’ll try really hard at the end of this post, and I’m hoping the title will remind me!

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what a blog is, what it should be used for, and more importantly what I want to use it for.  When I first started writing here, I was pining for a life as  freelancer and to escape the evil confines of my corporate job.  Yet as I move closer and closer to my LD and that dream becomes an ever realer reality, I wonder: what will the LIfe Uncommon be then? 

I have friends that put it all out there in their blogs: people who put characters out there, story lines, client requests, etc and I am terribley envious of them, but I can’t bring myself to do it.  I have this irrational fear that my character X will mysteriously end up in someone else’s book who has just happened to read my post…not that I am good enough to be plagarized from, but I can’t help but have that feeling.  What if someone took my ideas and ran with them? 

It is funny, because in a blog you put yourself out there and become in many ways transparent for the world.  I have avoided that to an extent because I have been using a pen name here (Isolde) and am now starting to contemplate revealing my identity (for those 8 avid readers out there!) and moving forward honestly as myself, out there for the criticism of the world.

Isn’t it odd that it is easy for me to put my deepest darkest secrets on the internet (I hate my job!) but I can’t put my character’s on here? for some reason that seems a bit contradictory to me…

So there is the connundrem.  AC Gaughen puts her stuff out there fearlessly and I am jealous of it.  Her worlds and characters are all accesible, all the time, and I admire her for that.  I hope that I can get to that stage, because I have a few story lines up my sleeve I would love to get feedback on from everyone. 

Is it worth it, or is it something you regret?

My mind is just racing with ideas.  Ideas for books, ideas for webprojects and websites, and ideas for myself and what I want to be doing for me.  I want to get into shape.  I want to excercise.  I want to do anything but sit at my computer at my current job and do nothing.

And one of my managers is so petty, so small, that it is even worse now that I have only 19 days left - that is right, I said it, 19 days - until I am outta there.  But he just makes it go so slowly…

I got home from dinner tonight and sat right down to work.  Tomorrow morning ’til night I’ll be working.  and I am totally thrilled about it - I just can’t wait until this game is over. 

One of the best things about writing is being creative.  The room to choose how you will say something - even if it is technical and the antithesis of creative - is an act in and of itself.  I can’t believe how much I have missed that in my life, and how refreshing it is to have it back.

I have always been a creative person.  I wrote my first poem in the 4th grade, had been drawing since I could hold a pencil, and had made up stories in my mind about everything forever.  Through college I wrote my feelings in the forms of short stories or poems, and I drew for fun while watching a great movie.  I look back on those times now and realize how I had no idea how precious that time was, that time to day-dream and indulge.  how now I find myself struggling back toward it as a young adult.  Realizing that creative me-time is some of the most important time in the world, and without it there isn’t really a “me” - at least not in any shape I can recognize.

My junior year in college I went on a silent retreat to a lodge next to the ocean and was totally silent for five days.  and I’m a talker.  and it was some of the best time I’ve ever had.  I realize that being home alone writing all the time will get hard and lonely, but I can’t help but think that maybe - just maybe - I’ll be able to have some moments of silent and sincere reflection that I so crave. 

But back to work.  19 days. 19 days. 19 days.

Because I’m waiting for my real life to begin.

I did it.  I did it.  I did it!

I had the conversation.  I gave my resignation.  And you know the best part?  My boss was genuinely happy for me and wished me well.  With a big, enthusiastic smile on his face, he said, “I am always so thrilled when people do what they are passionate about doing.  I think that is great!”

How could I have even asked for any more?!  I expected polite well-wishing, not a symphony of support.  It was wonderful - I could feel the smile spread long across my face and my posture straighten.  “I’m really excited,” I said, “really really excited.”

I have been doing my best to fight against needing the approval of others for this plan to make me feel it was worth while, but it has been hard.  I am a woman who has grown up and performed to the approval of others.  Living up to expectations is one of my strong skills.  This endeavor the past few months in preparation for quitting has been difficult: friends and family have questioned my motivation, my success, and my sanity.  But I have persevered, and my manager’s whole-hearted support reaction was like a little dish of ice cream during a strict diet: totally unexpectedly wonderful.

So the date is set: September 12, 2008, I will begin this great life experiment.  The plan: give myself a year to kick it freelance/entrepeneurial style and then reasses.  Get part time job after 1 month if necessary to supplement.

Read. Write. Breath. Think. Exercise. Meditate. Om. 

And now that it is out there, I can’t wait for September 12 to come.  It feels ages away and yet just around the corner. 

I have been on vacation since July 25.  That is a total of 10 days not in the office.  Oh yea, but they called me twice for stupid things (and kinda polluted my chi for that hour!) but yea - 10 days of blissful nothingness.

Now the hard part: returning to the office tomorrow.  I am dreading it so much.  Walking out of the train and across the bridge, past the Dunkin’ Donuts and crappy food cafeteria.  Getting in that old elevator and getting off at my floor, listening to the way the key beeps loudly as it electronically unlocks the door.  Then walking into that artificially lit space, sitting at my desk, dealing with 1000 emails, and silently start counting down the hours of the day like I always do.

The bright spot? Tomorrow is the beginning of the end.  Tomorrow I am resigning.  I will have to stay there for a few more weeks, no doubt.  But tomorrow is the beginning of freedom.  My LD.  So that makes tonight the deep breath before the plunge (as Ian McKellan so valiantly said in LOTR - I know, total nerd!).

The thing is I have neve resigned from a job like this and I have no idea what to expect.  Will they flip out? will they ask me to leave right then and there? will they beg me to stay and throw more money at me?  will they even care?  I would like to think in some spoiled part of my mind that they do, but that might just be my need to feel important.  Who knows.

But yea - this time tomorrow it will all be out in the open, it will all be there for there, my master plan finally put into action, finally started, the cogs finally clicking together with the wheels and levers. 

The point of no return.  The end of all things.  The end of life as I know it. 

And I feel fine.

Wish me luck - I’ll let you know how it goes.

Today I’ve been dealing with a reality I have been avoiding for a while - the problem of health insurance for an individual who is not under the care of a company. 

Friends and family have scared me to death with tales of needing to pay $1000-1400 per month for health insurance, and all I could think is “That is more than my rent!!!” The past few days my head has been in a downward spiral trying to figure out how to deal with this potential reality.  Maybe I’ll have to stay at my job.  Maybe I can’t do this after all.  AHH!

I finally got the guts up to sit down at my computer and check things out for myself, and you know what - it wasn’t that scary.  Especially after I found NASE: National Association for the Self Employed.  They offer very affordable health insurance packages that meet state requirements as well as don’t break my budget.  And, as part of the plan I get membership to NASE, which has lots of other little benefits.

Not the least of which, in my mind, is the pride to be able to say that I am self-employed.  I mean, if I am part of the national association for people who are self-employed then that means that I am self-employed, right? right.  And you know what, that is worth something, at least to me.  It means that I am my own woman, I am my own boss, I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul.  That is totally fabulous.

I never thought one year out of college I would already be working for myself - I thought years of busy bee work was needed before you could jump out on your own.  And while I would like to have the nest egg of someone who has been working like that for a decade or two, I am very much pleased that I am not spending my time like that. 

So, for better, worse, richer, poorer (is that possible?!) I take this life as a self-employed individual with open arms and happiness, and look forward to reaping the benefits of what I sow.

Let’s hope I sow a millionaire money farm.  Just kidding!…but not really…

Ok, that joke is really lame, but I just wanted to join fellow writer and dreamer AC Gaughenin singing the praises of the eHow Writer’s Compensation program, and how it actually compensates.  It totally astounds me on a daily basis when I log into the “My Earnings” section of my eHow account and see that while I was sleeping I made $.75.  I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but over time that amount has grown exponentially each day, from the first morning I woke up and saw I had made $.03 just a few weeks ago.  My total now is $4.43 for doing nothing but writing how-to guides about simple things (like shaving legs and using fiber) that take 10 minutes to write - or less.

This is money for nothing, people, and this is the beauty of eHow.  Not to mention it is a fun and friendly community to be a part of.

I know a writer who makes $5 from each of her eHow articles per month.  Now that might not seem like a lot, but multiply that number by, let’s say, 25 articles, and you are looking at a tidy monthly profit of $125 that came in the form of autmatic and almost effortless income. 

Yeah, and that author isn’t a freak story, there are many others like her, and I am well on my way.

Think about it, if I could make my articles earn just $5 apiece per month, I would only need 110 to pay my rent for me.  110 may seem like a lot, but when you write your first eHow and see how easy it is you will realize how achievable that can be over a month or two. 

While I have to admit that I am not at the point when each article earns $5 a piece, I feel like I am on my way.  and you could be too.

Check out my eHow articles to see how simple they can be, as well as the guide How to Make Money on eHowto get started. It is easy money, baby, and as far as I am concerned that is just fabulous!

So this was a good - long - full  week.  Between this Friday and last, I have acquired 3 writing gigs and they all have potential to go places, or at least be long term and sustaining.  And the best part is that they are across a wide range of subjects, which is wonderful because it offers new challenges and variety. I am totally thrilled.  And I am on vacation from my “real world” job until next week, so I am def. looking forward to just be able to take a break, leave the environment, and recover my bearings. If you want to see what I have been up to all week (and why I haven’t been writing here!), check out the following links!!!!

-Little Steps to Financial Independence
-One Man Band: Tips on Teaching Yourself to Play Any Instrument
-Natalie Portman Puts Her Politics First With New Vegan Shoe Line