Recently I had a great conversation with one of my best friends about expectations. Expectations for life, for work, for friendship, and for romance.
One of the corporate catch-phrases I learned in my old job was “manage expectations” – as in you should manage some one’s expectations to alleviate conflict and smooth egos. This idea has been drilled into me a bit, and now, in the post-corporate life, I find myself still trying to run things ahead in my mind so as to manage my expectations of myself and my life – how much money can I make on one project over time, how much can I expect to work out during the week, how much weight can I plan to lose per week, etc. It is a safe means to avoid disappointment, and so far it has been my M.O.
However, my friend’s opinion is that managing expectations in general is the quickest way to lose potential. What makes this world, and particularly America great, is that there is no ceiling cap restriction on how much we can earn, how much we can do – we are a country and a mentality of excess, and while it sometimes makes us fall hard in disappointment, it allows us to achieve as much as we can.
I agree with her – managing expectations is lame, and defeatist in a way. If you manage some one’s expectations, including your own, you are building a safety net for yourself against failure and disappointment. The real rub is that destroying managed expectations is a big part of what The Life Uncommon and the philosophy of this site is all about – there is no restriction, there is no cap – do and flourish and expand in all directions you are inclined to to your fullest potential.
So why is it so hard for me to live it myself? I believe strongly in the mission statement of this site, and try to apply it to my life daily. I need to take off my training wheels, and just go. That is the one thing that hasn’t changed yet that I want to – I want to jump as high and as far as I can without needing to manage my own expectations.
Because the truth is, how can I ever fulfill my passions and succeed if I am too scared to get hurt and fail?
I guess I just found my goal for the week.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Good thought process. You have hit upon the age old question and that is how do I grow without incurring risk. The answer is that you must be willing to risk everything to grow. Understanding that there is nothing you can lose that will change who you are will help to allow you to take off the training wheels and fly with a knowing that it is okay to fail, okay to get hurt because growth is a process and everything that happens is part of that process.
Fly!
Is managing expectations really about being scared of failure and avoiding disappointment, though? I think in your current situation it’s still important, but only because it allows you to plan in an environment where it’s easy for hope or anxiety to cause you to over- or under-estimate the work you need to do.
Perhaps I don’t fully understand what the process of managing expectations entails. I can definitely see how liberal application of a technique like this could cause one to underestimate their ability and not perform to their full potential. Still, I think that this skill might be adapted to be very valuable.
You’re doing the right thing here by examining habits you’ve picked up while in the corporate world looking for things that diminish your potential; just don’t forget that corporations do things that make them more productive and efficient. In some cases, you may be able to use their black magic for the forces of good.
(Darth Vader would be proud of me)
Everybody needs a fresh start sometimes because we go through a lot in our lives and sometimes we just need to start
there is always next day… so if we fail also we have always a good opportunity ahead to have success with it. so what i say try try until you die.
by the way really nice post
You are talking about a subject that can change upon person to person. it is a vast subject and very difficult to describe.
anyway nice post to have a read. congrats
sherin
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