“The Most Important Lesson I Learned in College”

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Guest Post By Barry Wright, III

First of all, I’d like to extend a huge thank-you to Nacie for the opportunity to post here and share my thoughts with all of you. I certainly appreciate when someone decides to trust me enough to let them to speak to their (many) friends!

While Nacie came across me through a primarily fashion-oriented blog, I’d like to talk about a more general life concept. I want to share with you the idea of achievement inertia, a phenomenon which drives many of our aspirations and dreams. Left unconsidered, it can lead us places we don’t want to end up.

Let me share a little information about myself as context. Currently, I’m a senior at Duke University, where I’ve been a very successful mathematics major (graduating with distinction, summa cum laude, etc.). I came to Duke intending to be a physics or philosophy major. In high school, I considered applying to the Naval Academy, schools of architecture, and schools of city planning.

Now, as graduation approaches, instead of doing what my math major, high GPA peers are doing (applying to graduate school, taking very high paying jobs in consulting or banking). I’m not applying for jobs, or graduate school. Right now, my options are to start my own company (currently far in the lead), apply to fashion school, or apply to business school.

What in the world is wrong with me?

That’s probably what the 2007 version of myself would say if he met “present” me. The 2007 Barry was on track to have the most impressive litany of mathematics courses, research experiences, and advising relationships possible. 2007 Barry had geared nearly his entire collegiate career to improve his chances of getting into a top math grad school.

Let me be clear. I love math, especially teaching math. But after a year of researching pure mathematics (think “variation of area minimizing curves on positive curvature spacetimes” abstract), things began to wear down. Doubts crept into my head that math research might not be my cup of tea.

But how could I let that stop me? I’d put years of hard work into preparing myself for grad school. Surely this was just a lapse in judgement, burnout from a tough semester. No dice. As I pushed myself to “try to enjoy” the work I simply found myself making more and more excuses to avoid it. When I did work on research, it just discouraged me and made me frustrated. Eventually, I just broke down (more on that in a minute).

So what happened to me? How could I allow that to happen to myself? It’s simple, and it happens (to some degree to all of us). When we invest energy in a project, we become more adamant about finishing it. It’s especially true when we make positive progress. When we achieve good things (good grades in an introductory course, good sales the first week of a job, good vibes on a first date), we feel a responsibility to continue, to not squander this opportunity to be good at something. I like to call this concept achievement inertia. When we do well at something, we’re pushed to work more at it.

Much of the time, this creates a positive energy in us. The child who finds success playing T-ball in the backyard with his father is motivated to practice his swing every day and become a good little leaguer! Most people don’t realize that it can also have a negative impact on us.

Going back to my story, I can distinctly remember the night I broke down and broke through. Frustrated and disappointed with myself, once again, for not enjoying my research work, I walked to the Duke gardens to decompress. Instead, I finally accepted a fact I’d been suppressing for months; I was not enjoying the life I was setting up for myself. What a difficult and scary thought!

After some hard thinking, and long conversations with my parents, I came to realize what I consider the most important lesson I learned in college:

Your past does not have to control your future.

That may seem obvious to many of you, but consider the huge number of people who are controlled by their past. Do you know anyone who hates their job, but stays because they’ve done it for twenty years? Controlled by their past. Do you know anyone staying in medical school even though they’re not crazy about it anymore? Controlled by their past. Are you in your current field (as opposed to one you’d like better) because of your college major, or because you didn’t go to college? You may be controlled by your past.

Most of the time we think of this in terms of people with bad past experiences. The ex-convict has limited job opportunities. The high school dropout can’t advance in life. The ex-drug user (clean 4 years) still can’t get an interview (despite being overly qualified).

But what about the broker who’s worked hundred hour weeks for years because he’s excellent at it (but hates the lifestyle). What about the med student who’s passion is writing, but is just 12 months from graduation and a prestigious fellowship? What about the guy who wants to move to a city, start a business, run a fashion blog, but doesn’t want to throw away 3 years of working to be an exceptional mathematics PhD applicant? (That’s me.)

The great thing about today’s world is that most of us have the opportunity to change paths! The opportunities for learning new skills and trades are much more accessible than for previous generations. Unless you’re in a truly difficult life situation (economically, or in health), it’s almost always possible to start over, to try something new.

In today’s world (unlike that of thirty years ago), many people no longer spend their entire career in a single industry, let alone at a single company. When information and training is so readily available, we have a wealth of occupational freedom that previously didn’t exist.

My hope is that all of you will have the courage to be aware of your own personal achievement inertia. You may think that the benefits of “putting your head down and powering through” outweigh the risk of changing fields, changing jobs, or changing lives, but remember this:

Nothing is riskier than ensuring your life is unhappy.

If your current life situation (job, college, significant other, location) is not what you want in life, you have a personal responsibility to yourself to seek change, to seek improvement, and the final measure of that improvement is your happiness. Only you can judge what exactly what will bring you happiness. Make sure you are honest with yourself about what that is, and don’t let what you’ve done (good or bad) cloud that judgment.

Your future self will thank you someday.

Thanks again for reading,

Barry Wright, III

Barry runs and maintains the amazing fashion-based website 3 Style Life – please check it out.  Thank you, Barry, for your wonderful contribution!

Tagged as: achievement inertia, Barry Wright III, fashion blog