Well, friends and Uncommoners, we have finally made it. Today marked the beginning of the final week of 2009. Another one is ready for the history books, which means it is time for us to start putting away the old year and preparing to welcome in the new one. In my mind, this is a three step process: Review of the old year, gratitude for the old year, and then looking ahead toward the new year. Today we are going to tackle the first step: reviewing 2009.
Reviewing the year that was is always one of my favorite parts of the year – there are few other moments in the calendar where you can truly appreciate the progress you have made in all areas of life. Many people see New Year’s as a time for resolutions and making promises to themselves. I’ve come to abhor resolutions for the simple fact that I think they emphasize the wrong things. When I hear someone speak of resolutions, they are always bad habits they want to correct or emotional behaviors they want to “get over.” They suggest that you’ve done wrong this past year, and maybe for many years past, and now you are going to “fix” yourself. With such a negative outlook no wonder no one sticks to their resolutions!
I prefer to scrap the idea of resolutions and substitute them with goals. I will not resolve to fix things that are past, but aspire to achieve positive and worthwhile goals in my future that will help me grow and develop and succeed. And I find reviewing what I’ve already accomplished essential to helping me decide what I want to positively work toward next year.
Over the years, I’ve found an effective year end review to include a focus on the big picture development – where were you this time last year versus where are you now – as well as an analysis of all the positive, forward moving things you’ve accomplished in detail. Typically, I get together and do a review with one of the most fabulous women in the world, AC Gaughen, and then in the quiet hours of New Year’s Eve do a more personal and solitary review. I encourage you to try and find a way to review your year in a way that is meaningful and effective for you – however, if you are at a loss for where to start you may follow my example to get the feel of it.
My Review of 2009
In looking back over the year that was, 2009, I am shocked by the amount of growth I feel I personally experienced. I spent some time this morning looking at my review post from last year, The Year That Was: 2008, and realized for the first time that 2008 wasn’t so much a year of emotional growth but physical growth. Many things about my physical world changed – I left a job, I lost weight, etc – but where I was in terms of my emotions and awareness of self stayed pretty constant. I was going through motions, literally, but the emotions hadn’t caught up yet. 2009 was a year of the internal catching up with the external, making me feel now at the end of this year that my physical and emotional selves are finally in tandem.
For me, 2009 brought things and opportunities into my life that I had only imagined in my wildest dreams. I’ve been blessed with a number of freelance clients who have not only allowed me to continue to be self employed but have also given me projects that thrill and inspire me. I’ve had the chance to meet and interview some amazing and notable people, including the wonderful Dr. Alejandro Junger, Carol Tuttle, and Craig Newmark, founder of craigslist. And I’ve been given opportunities to further my life’s work in personal development and take all my ambitions to the next level (but more on that in 2010…!).
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is this: You need to be able to ask for what you want with confidence. Sometimes, we don’t want to ask for what we want because we want to be polite, or easy, or go with the flow. We don’t ask for what we want because we are afraid of being laughed at, or scorned, or refused. We don’t ask for what we want because on some level we think it is stupid, or we are unworthy, or we are scared we might actually get it. But learning to be able to ask for what you want – to articulate it, with conviction and confidence – is a skill that must be learned if you ever hope to achieve anything.
Early this year, I was afraid to ask for what I wanted from others and even from myself. However, as soon as I started doing it, all sorts of magical things started happening. I realized the worst thing anybody could say to me was “no.” And then I would just ask again, until I got a “yes’ or I rephrased the question. Is the secret to getting what you want as simple as just asking for it? No, you need to be able to work hard to get it and follow through. But it is a major part of it that can’t be underestimated.
So the final verdict on 2009 for me? A very good year. Not always an easy year, not a year free from conflict or pain. But a very good year none the less.
If you care to share anything about how your 2009 was, I would love to hear about it and see the types of things you found important or lessons you learned. What are you happy about this year? How did you grow? Stay tuned for the second step toward the new year: giving gratitude!
Here’s to your Uncommon Life,
