It’s that time of year again…

Sunday, March 14 at 2am in the United States, the clocks will be moved forward one hour to start the glorious period of daylight savings time.  This special time of year always gets me so jazzed for spring, but also throws me off my game for a few days after the time switch.  After all, we are losing an entire hour, and you know how I feel about making the most of my time…

Daylight savings time always feels like it is disrupting my inertia; like I am running and a good pace and then suddenly mis-step and have to spend several strides correcting my balance.  And no one likes their state of flow interrupted!

To prevent you from experiencing a similar inconvenient feeling, I have put together a short, fool-proof guide to enjoying the best parts of daylight savings switch (brighter days, coming of spring, general well being) while eliminating the unsavory ones (grumpiness, sleep loss, general disorientation).

Start Adjusting Your Sleep Schedule

One of the best ways to prepare for daylight savings time is to start adjusting your sleep time little by little over the rest of this week. If you can just go to bed a little earlier (just 10-15 minutes!) each night you can help reduce that jet-lag feeling substantially.

I typically go to bed around midnight.  The week before we move the clocks ahead, I try to get into bed around 11:30pm so that when the clocks shift forward, I find myself in the habit of getting into bed around 12:30am instead of 1am.  It’s only a half hour, but can make all the difference for keeping my schedule intact.

Shift Back Your Daily Routine

Just as I go to bed a little earlier, I try to wake up and do my daily tasks a hair earlier as well. That means waking up, hitting the gym, having breakfast, and starting the day are all pushed back by a half hour.  Again, it might seem like a small difference, but when the time comes to actually move the clocks back it is a lot smoother a transition.

Something to be particularly careful of is your caffeine consumption during the week before daylight savings time.  If you are a late in the day/late night caffeine person, it can really throw things off when you lose an hour.  Remember, products that contain caffeine include coffee, chocolate, soda, tea, candy, and energy drinks.

Get a Sunlight Fix

Part of resetting our circadian rhythm and adjusting to “spring/summer” mentality is monitoring our exposure to sunlight.  Sunlight triggers the production of certain chemicals in the brain that make us alert, awake, and energetic – similarly, the lack of sunlight triggers melatonin production which makes us sleepy and relaxed.

You can start to adjust your sunlight amount and reset your sleep patterns by exposing yourself to sunlight in the morning. This can mean anything from sitting next to a window first thing when you get up or taking a little stroll outside after breakfast.  Being exposed to bright light in the morning can reset your body’s cycle so you will naturally go to bed earlier and enjoy more restful sleep.

Keep a Fixed Schedule

A final way to prepare for daylight savings time is to try and keep a fixed schedule – at least for this week.  Routines are always great protectors against lifestyle turbulence; the more practiced your routine is, the harder it is to shake. Setting up and sticking to a routine over the next few days (consistent wake up time, consistent bed time, consistent amount of sunlight and exercise), can help you just go on autopilot through the first 24-48 hours of the time switch.

The good news is that this time next week, for better or worse, you will be through the worst of the shift and on your way to embracing spring with all its promise.  Now that is a comforting thought!

Here’s to your Uncommon Life,

Related posts:

1. 7 Spring Cleaning Tips for Uncommoners
2. Getting Back on Track
3. How to Get Up Early

Good morning, friends and Uncommoners!

Today I want to direct your attention to my guest post at Tanveer Naseer’s great business and motivational site.  If you want to jump straight to the article, click here.

Here is a little taste of what is waiting for those die-hard Uncommoners who aren’t ready to click off this page…

….

There are two elements that come together to shape our lives: state of action and state of mind. Our state of action (or sometimes inaction) can be defined by the physical things we are engaging in, such as looking, eating, writing, thinking, or laughing. Our state of mind (or sometimes mindlessness) is best explained as the intention behind our action, such as focusing on a goal.

When these two elements are in tandem, the result is the completely unique and amazing feeling of being “in the groove,” something we have all experienced at least once or twice. However, when these elements are out of sync or opposing, the result is frustration, anxiety, and contradiction.

Productivity is no different.

Optimal productivity, I discovered, is the direct result of our state of action coordinating and complementing our state of mind. Sub-optimal or inconsistent productivity comes when our actions do not mesh with our mindset…to keep reading, click here!


*Don’t forget to sign up for the new and improved – and free! – TLU newsletter by clicking here or enrolling below:

Related posts:

1. Understanding Your Work Style
2. Personal Branding and Sustainable Business Development
3. 5 Ways to Increase Productivity

I love working from home, so much so it bears repeating: I love working from home.

I am not a traditional workforce kinda girl (managers, business hours, cubicles, HR memos…), so in my mind leaving the 9-5 world for a schedule and lifestyle of my own making was like winning the happiness lottery.

Now, almost 2 years later, I am still completely in love with my home office, my 2 minute commute downstairs, and the flexibility I have everyday to not only do what I want but do when it when I want to do it.

However, while I could literally write entire sonnets to working at home, there are several pitfalls that can sabotage the fabulous elements and prevent you from getting your business done.  I know because I have done each of the things on the following list at least once…

*Don’t forget to sign up for the new and improved – and free! – TLU newsletter by clicking here

1. Refusing to make a schedule – When I first started working from home, I avoided schedules like the plague. “I work from home now, I don’t need to schedule, that’s the whole point!” Wrong. Scheduling in work blocks is vital to actually making you work. Sure, you can schedule them whenever you want to – that is the beauty of working at home – but just be sure they are planned and you stick with the plan.
2. Overdosing on freedom – For the first three weeks I worked from home, I did no work at all. I watched movies, I hung out with friends, I twiddled my thumbs…I was like a kid binging on chocolate chip cookies when grandma isn’t looking.  Unfortunately, I experience the equivalent of a sugar rush followed by a stomach ache: I got sick of having fun and realized I was stretched to pay my rent the next month. Freedom is a joy of working from home, but it needs to be exercised with caution.
3. Keeping the TV on - I used to work – and honestly still sometimes do – with the TV on. When my desk was in the living room, it resulted in zero productivity.  Now, with my office a room away from the TV I can still hear it in the background as I do my business, resulting in almost no productivity.  Either watch TV or don’t, but don’t try both at the same time.




4. Not optimizing work location - The  first year I was working at home I worked in the living room. While this was mostly due to space concerns, it still stunk.  Now I have my own office and I can’t tell you want a difference it makes. If you have to share a room with another function, be sure to put yourself in a corner and block yourself off as much as possible with bookshelves or chairs.
5. Ignoring the outside world - When you work from home it is really easy to accidentally isolate yourself. Try to get out a few times a week to just sit in a cafe or meander around a supermarket – human interaction, even basic human interaction, is good for you!
6. Snacking – With your refrigerator so close all day every day, snacking is bound to happen. Two easy solutions: place your desk as far away from the kitchen as possible, or don’t buy tempting treats. I had to stop keeping Sun Chips in the house because the siren call was just too strong.
7. Denouncing accountability – Many work at home folks notice that they are so excited to not have a manager or boss they forget to fill that role themselves. You need to stay accountable for working a reasonable amount each week, bringing in enough money, and taking care of your business needs. Saying goodbye to accountability is all well and good until tax season rolls around…
8. Forgetting to sleep - When you are working at home, your sense of night and day can become a little turned around. Always remember to sleep – there is no boss to impress and the only person you are damaging is yourself (who has to get up and work the next day!).
9. Allowing clutter to build up – My office is always on clutter lock down because I accumulate it so easily.  The only person who sees this room is me, after all, and as far as I’m concerned if I can make it to my desk that is all that matters, so I have to actively work to keep clutter at bay.  Clutter disrupts creativity and productivity, so avoid it at all costs! (read more about clutter here)
10. Not defending your free time – Working from home is a wonderful experience, and as much as you need to vigilant you actually work, you also need to be conscious of giving yourself some uninterrupted free time away from the computer.  Having your office at home means you can work 24/7, but it doesn’t mean you should. Free time for fun, spending time with family, and relaxing is key to keeping you fresh and productive.  So go out and enjoy a nice long walk or trip to the mall – Nacie’s orders!

Here’s to your Uncommon Life,

Related posts:

1. Blurred Boundaries: Working at Home
2. Work at Home Considerations
3. Prepare Yourself for Working From Home

Happy Wednesday, friends and Uncommoners.  Today I wanted to share with you something that has always been a source of power, inspiration, and motivation to me: A Psalm of Life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

I was first introduced to this poem about fifteen years ago, and ever since it has stuck in my mind and continually served as a reminder for one of the basic missions of my life: keep moving forward.  No matter what happens, we need to act so that tomorrow finds us further along the road to our dreams that today.

So for this rainy hump day, I present you with pure motivation material – what music/songs/quotes/poems keep you motivated and achieving?

A Psalm of Life

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream ! —
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real !   Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal ;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way ;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world’s broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle !
Be a hero in the strife !

Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant !
Let the dead Past bury its dead !
Act,— act in the living Present !
Heart within, and God o’erhead !

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time ;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate ;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

*Don’t forget to sign up for the new and improved – and free! – TLU newsletter by clicking here or enrolling below:

Here’s to your Uncommon Life,

Related posts:

1. The Top 5 Tricks to Motivation
2. Goal-Directed Action
3. Surround Yourself with Empowering Symbols

An interesting thing happened to me the other day: I got what I want…only to discover that I didn’t really want it anymore.

The Sad Story of The Jacket

Last summer, I found a leather jacket online that I loved, but unfortunately, it was a tad out of my price range.  For months it sat online, tempting me to blow my budget and just buy it anyways, but I resisted.  Around December, the website that was selling it took it down and didn’t even place it in the sale section.  I figured the jacket was gone, lost to the ages, and all thought of it went out of my mind.

Yet at the beginning of February, while surfing around the same website, what did I spy lingering in the clearance section? The very same jacket.  With its price substantially slashed, I squealed with glee as I pointed, clicked and waited for the long-desired product to reach me.

The day finally came when the UPS lady knocked on my door with the anticipated packaged. I ripped the box open, pulled away the tissue paper, and beheld something I had wanted for almost 7 months.

There was a great feeling of accomplishment and a sense of rightness in the universe, as I ran my hands over the supple brown leather.  I smugly smiled to myself and thought, “Wow, this is a great example of the Law of Attraction in action, I have attracted this to me…”  I reverently lifted the jacket out of the box, unzipped the front, and slipped it on…

…Only to find out it didn’t fit right.

It zipped up totally fine, the arm length was good, but (like so many tops) the jacket was too tight around the shoulders and upper back. My immediate thought was that I would just exchange the jacket for the next size up.  But then I realized that the size I had on was the largest size the jacket came in.

“Maybe I could lose a few,” I desperately thought, as I observed my reflection in the mirror.  “Maybe it will stretch out over time,” I hoped.

But the more I reviewed what I saw, the more I realized that there was no way this jacket would ever fit properly (unless I could shrink my skeleton).

How could this have happened? After all, I wanted this, I attracted it to me, the universe seemed to align to get it to me beyond all obstacles, why isn’t this working out flawlessly?

After You Get What You Want

So much of our lives are focused on getting what we want, whether it is a specific job, a specific partner, or even just a leather jacket.  But what happens after we get what we want?  Then what?  And more importantly, what do we do when what we have wanted ends up not serving our purposes or just isn’t right?


The shock after getting what you want and finding its not right for you can be profound.  You can feel foolish, guilty, angry, confused, and shaken about your ability to choose what is right for you.

But after the initial feelings wear off, one question remains: knowing something you wanted isn’t working/right for you, what do you do with it?

There are several options: You can try to make it work, you can ignore it, or you can let it go with gratitude.

These are the thoughts that I went through when I realized that the jacket just wasn’t ever going to work. I could try to make it work in my outfits and hope no one noticed that it didn’t fit right, I could throw the jacket in the back of my closet and ignore it, or I could return it.

Letting Go of Things that Don’t Serve You

Options 1 and 2 were tempting for the simple fact that I wasn’t ready to admit that something I had wanted wasn’t right for me.  I figured the universe has given me exactly what I wanted, how can I spit in the face of that by getting rid of it?

While wearing it might not be a feasible option, at least I could keep it in the back of my closet as a kind of Law of Attraction relic, something tangible I could turn to for continue proof that it does work. And who knows, maybe someday I could fit into it…right?

How many times have you had feelings like this about something in your own life?  You get that job, you marry that partner, you buy that fancy car…only to discover after the fact that for whatever reason, it doesn’t serve you in a productive and valuable way.  It just doesn’t fit.

Yet I am willing to bet that instead of letting go of that wanted-thing, you held onto it for a number of reasons, thinking you could make it work, adjust to it and be happy with it, or ignore it and just move on with your life (and this additional baggage).

Letting go of things you wanted but don’t serve you is a hard thing to do. It feels like admitting failure or defeat, it feels shameful and ungrateful.  Yet at the end of the day, the only real way to honor something you wanted that doesn’t serve you is to let it go with gratitude.

Be grateful that you were able to get what you wanted, but also be grateful for the fact that you learned that the wanted item did not fit. And by letting things go that do not fit you, you free them up to be taken by people for whom they would be a perfect fulfillment of their dreams.

After wearing the jacket around my home for several  minutes, I came to terms with the fact that the only thing I could do – the only right thing I could do – would be to return the jacket.  I carefully packed it back in its box, sealed it up, and with a smile returned it to the company with the hope that – while it didn’t serve me – it would be the  perfect fit for someone else.  And no matter what, that chapter of wanting was concluded, and there was something freeing about that. The sad story of the jacket is actually now in my mind a positive story about how to gratefully let go.

What are your thoughts about letting go of things that don’t serve you?
*Don’t forget to sign up for the new and improved – and free! – TLU newsletter by clicking here or enrolling below:

Here’s to your Uncommon Life,

Related posts:

1. The Art of Risk Taking
2. The Real Secret of the Law of Attraction
3. The Power of Happiness

Failures happen to us all.

Sometimes they’re our fault, sometimes the universe just seems to work against our well laid plans.

After Wednesday’s post on How to Change Your Life, I spent some time thinking about the applications for the Accepting Responsibility + Proactive Action formula and its various applications.  One comment, made by the incomparable Evan Hadkins really got the old hamster wheel churning.  Evan noted:

I think I’d add a third element or expand the first one. See how what we are doing creates our current life. This adds specificity and grounds the responsibility. If you see what I mean.

Basically, part of changing your life is being able to look at what you are currently doing, assess if it is working, and then adjust accordingly to get to a different place.

I believe one of the most powerful ways someone can proactively work to change their life is in the way they handle failure.  Failure can be devastating financially, emotionally, and even physically depending on the situation. It is generally accepted as a shameful thing, something that will hang over your head the rest of your life and prove to everyone you’re not as good/smart/successful/happy/cool as they thought you were.

Yet in my life, I have found that my failures have often times given me a fast-lane pass to success, and usually success beyond what I had originally intended to accomplish.

Failure, in my mind, means not reaching your goal…yet.

If you have experienced any type of failure in your life – maybe a romantic relationship ended, maybe you let yourself get out of shape, maybe your business venture never got off the ground, or maybe you just can’t kick that habit – then you have also experienced a moment when you had it in your power to turn it all around.

Someone once told me that we are not defined by our successes, but by the way we embrace our failures.  Don’t let your unsuccessful attempt to achieve something stop you from getting what you want.  Failures are actually golden opportunities to succeed…you just have to know how to handle them.

In my experience, there are four major methods you can use to turn failure into success.  Have you experienced any other ways that work?

The Persistence Method

This method of turning failure into success could also easily be called the “Traveling Salesman Method” or the “Patrick Swazye Convincing Whoopi Goldberg to Help Him In Ghost Method,” but since both these titles are too long, the term persistence works more succinctly.  The basic principle behind this method is if at first you don’t succeed, try try again until you do.  If someone gives you “no” for an answer, go back the next day and ask again.  If you didn’t lose weight on the diet this week, get back on program and work at it again next week. If your business didn’t meet your numbers this month, then hit the ground harder next month and try again.

The Persistence Method for turning failure into success works when you believe that what you are doing/asking for/thinking is right and that eventually it will get the result you want. If you know you have a good idea, don’t stop until someone pays attention.  If you know you can lose weight on this or that program, don’t stop trying until you do.  Tenacity and not taking no for an answer (even if you actually get no for an answer over and over) can sometimes be the best way to push through that wall of failure and reach success on the other side.  It will also boost your confidence to know that you got what you wanted by not giving up and not compromising. 

The Alternate Venue Method

Sometimes its not the idea that is failing, it is where you are implementing it.  The Alternate Venue Method for turning failure into success works by keeping the same principles and just adjusting where you are putting them to work to achieve your goal.  If your business is not doing well at one mall, maybe it should relocate to another part of town where there are more of your target audience, or maybe it should go totally digital and be an online shop. If your weight loss efforts are failing, maybe you should switch diet programs or move onto an exercise-based program instead.

The Alternate Venue Method works best when you feel that your principles are sound, but the “location” in which they are implemented may be sub-par. This is where Evan’s wonderful point of being aware of what you are doing now comes into play as a key skill.  You need to be aware of the pros and cons for your “location,” and if you deem them to be unhelpful or hurtful to your goal proactively moving said location and trying again.

The Frankenstein Method

The Frankenstein Method is characterized by examining the whole attempt, cutting out parts that are not helping, and pasting in new strategies instead.  Maybe the location your business is at isn’t the best, but maybe you could also change the layout of your store and adjust the colors in your logo to appeal to customers more.  Maybe you should switch weight loss programs, but also implement a separate exercise program as well.

Like the Frankenstein monster, this method requires you to be willing to pull your goal strategy apart, see what’s working and what isn’t, and then put it back together…maybe with parts from another strategy patched in here and there. This method is more time consuming than the first two as it is a return to the drawing board.  This method for turning failure into success should be implemented when you know somethings need re-evaluating but there are salvageable elements of the idea.

The Raze It Method

The final method to turn failure into success is the Raze It Method.  This is a return to the starting point with the idea to come out and try again with an entirely new approach.  Sometimes the ways we anticipate succeeding in our goals seem like great methods at the time, however after failing we can see the holes in the strategy and the need to correct course.

Many people see the Raze It Method as the essential elements of failure: you tried, it didn’t work, so you will start over with nothing to show for the first attempt.  However, this is so not true – what you have to show for the first attempt is wisdom, experience, and an idea of what not to do.  How many times did they say Thomas Edison found to not make a light bulb? The number doesn’t matter, just the idea: when you fail and have to start over, you have just found a way not to get what you want so if you’re smart (which I know you are!) you won’t do again.

There is something liberating in the Raze It Method – starting fresh, starting over, starting anew.  The only way it is failure in my book is if you look at the goal you were trying to achieve and say, “you know, it is too hard, I’ll never be able to get it so I won’t try again.”  That is failure.

There are thousands of ways you can not get what you want in life.  Luckily, almost all of those ways provides a hidden path to get straight to what you do want.

Remember, the only thing that determines whether or not you fail is you.

*Don’t forget to sign up for the new and improved – and free! – TLU newsletter by clicking here or enrolling below:

Here’s to your Uncommon Life,

Related posts:

1. Commit to Being a Success
2. Improve Your Business Skills for Increased Success
3. Professional Success with Twitter: A True Story

As I sat down to blog yesterday, I found myself facing an age-old enemy: writer’s block.

I must have started four or five different posts before I eventually settled on How to Change Your Life.  But what really struck me as I was trying to get myself started yesterday was how many of the same old ideas I was pulling from for post inspiration. In fact, I even started writing a post that I had actually already written several months ago.

Obviously, I am in some need of fresh ideas.

Fresh ideas, novel ideas, new ideas – whatever you want to call them – are important fuel for all Uncommoners.  If you keep doing the same thing, thinking the same way, having the same ideas, what will you get? More of the same.

Yet all of us get stuck in idea-ruts sometimes.  Like having the lyrics to just one song stuck in your head non-stop, the same old strategies, perceptions, and ideas for how to move forward pop-up time and time again without change.

Novelty is the stuff inspiration and innovation is made of.  And while we can all get into idea-ruts, we can easily get out of them by following a few tips.

Since we have already started to look to spring (see 7 Spring Cleaning Tips for Uncommoners to get up to speed), we should start to look to ways to clean out our thought processes and ideas and get new types of inspiration. Here are a few tips that I have found to be always helpful in jogging the creative genius.  What would you suggest?

• Follow your procrastination – if you need new ideas, follow your desire to procrastinate and see where it takes you.  Maybe it will surf you onto a website that introduces you to a new topic, maybe it will bring you to a TV show that inspires some train of thought. Or maybe it will allow you time to sit and do nothing (and let the little gray cells do their thinking work). Note: This strategy should be used with caution…it can easily turn into a excuse for inaction if used too often!
• Take a media break – movies, music, literature, and art can all inspire us in ways we don’t expect.  A great film, a trip to the museum, or time spent perusing your favorite book or listening to your favorite album can let your mind wander and provoke questions or trains of thought out of your usual idea-rut. Taking time to explore “culture” is always a great way to generate new ideas.
• Shake it up - getting some exercise is a great way to both do something good for your body and your mind. Countless studies have shown a correlation between physical activity and positive/feel-good brain function.  It also provides energy, an important element in generating fresh ideas. If you are feeling stumped on something, hit the gym or the walking trail for an hour and see how you are feeling afterward.  Physical refreshment often leads to mental refreshment.
• Go natural – spending time in nature is one of my favorite ways to provoke new thought. Wandering around in the woods, walking through a field, or sitting by the ocean is always inspiring to me. I feel more connected to the world and the universe, and there is something so inspiring about a big blue sky.
• Head to the library – this idea is inspired by @RaeConover who tweeted to me today, “I love libraries! The only downfall is I could spend hours here just browsing and not working, lol!”  Browsing around a library is an amazing way to get some inspiration and expose your mind to new subjects, points of view, or stories. Libraries are free and plentiful throughout most areas in the world, so if you are feeling uninspired and in need of new ideas, head on over to your local library for some intellectual exploration!

Fresh ideas are the spice of life and one of the keys to an Uncommon Life – how do you “pepper in” some inspiration?
*Don’t forget to sign up for the new and improved – and free! – TLU newsletter by clicking here or enrolling below:

Here’s to your Uncommon Life,

Related posts:

1. Birth, Rebirth, and Starting Fresh
2. thoughts of an eBook
3. Still Not September 12…

While at a client site the other day, one of the employees and I got into a conversation.  They wanted to change their job, they were unhappy with their situation, and they felt unsure as to what they really wanted to be doing with themselves.

“I want to change my life, but I just don’t know how.”

I have heard people say almost this identical phrase hundreds of times over the past few years. The desire for living a different life, being a different person, doing different work is there, but how to bridge the gap between where they are today and where they want to be tomorrow seems like a complete mystery.

There are millions of things that you can do every day to change your life. This site – and many other – share countless of things you can do to make changes.  For each person, what will change their life will be a different thing or a different combination of things.

There is only one universal element that everyone needs to know and understand to truly change their life: the power is yours to do so.

Accepting Responsibility

The power to change your life is a two part order: the first is to accept responsibility for that power.  To change your life, you need to understand that you hold the ultimate responsibility for whether you are happy, sad, angry, or depressed.

Sure, there are lots of things that can happen to you in life that can test your mettle and effect your circumstances.  You could have health problems, you could live through a natural disaster, you could experience tragic loss, your business could fail through no fault of your own.  Some people suffer abuse, are born with disabilities, or are the victims of a heinous crime.

And while you can’t control what has happened to you, you can control how you move forward from it. There are thousands – no, hundreds of thousands – of stories of people who experience the most heinous situations life throws at them and still manage to be happy, contributing, and successful in spite of it. Are they the lucky ones? Are they somehow different from you or me? No – they simply have accepted responsibility for being happy/successful/fulfilled.

Taking responsibility for your happiness means that no matter what happens, you understand that at the end of the day no matter what the world does to you, the ultimate deciding factor for what your life looks like is in your hands.

Be Proactive

The second part of the universal element for changing your life is to be proactive. Being proactive means that you wake up everyday with the conscious intention to improve your situation.  This means you research what will be effective, you study how to do it, and then you actively implement it.

You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control what actions you take after to get to a better place.

Maybe you have a serious health condition – what can you do to start improving it? What therapies are out there to relieve your symptoms, heal your body, or prevent further sickness?

Maybe you experience a tragic loss – what can you do to start healing? In what ways can you make peace with the universe and honor the memory of what was lost? What can you do to start looking ahead?

Maybe you were laid off through no fault of your own – what can you do to get back out into the workforce? How can you turn this into an experience that will work in your favor when it comes time to be hired again?


To change you life, you must be willing to go out and get what you want or search until you find what you want. Change will not come to you, at least not the type of change you want.  If you are a passive player in your own life, you will get what you get. However, if you are a proactive player, you can determine exactly what you get.

It is that simple, and that hard.

Putting it together

So the formula for how anyone can change their life is this:

accept responsibility for your happiness/success + be proactive to make change happen = a changed life

Of course, there are specific strategies and steps you can take to be proactive and be comfortable with that responsibility.  But when it comes to the question of “How can I change my life?” this formula is the only universal answer.

At the end of the day it comes down to fact that the power lies totally in your hands. You can either let the world around you define you, or you can actively and consciously go out and define yourself in spite of the world.  I have found that when people start to do the latter, they start to experience that sensation that their life is changing for the better.

Are you ready to change your life?

Here’s to your Uncommon Life,

*Don’t forget to sign up for the new and improved – and free! – TLU newsletter by clicking here or enrolling below:

Related posts:

1. Just do it. ?
2. Life After Uncommon
3. Like a New Life

Guest post by Charlene Burke

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”  Frederick Douglas

If life is a journey to find myself, then how do I cope with being lost until then? *sigh* Yes, I asked such a question once. I was annoyed.

For many years, well into my 20s, I had the misconception that life was all about ‘finding myself’. I would hear an encouraging word from a teacher “not to worry, as you grow up you find out who you really are”, or from a wannabe hippy aunt “life is all about the journey and finding yourself”. I also read books and watched movies that encouraged people to find themselves. I met high school seniors who wanted a year off from school to take time to find themselves before going to college. I felt sad because it seemed that we were all lost in a journey of trying to find ourselves. Then I felt anxious, because no one told me when I would know that I had found myself. Now that I know the truth I’m really annoyed. The well-meaning people in my life had stolen my power from me.

You see, if you believe that life is about creating yourself, then you have just tapped in to the power to become whomever you want or aspire to be. It is now in your hands. It is now up to you. It is now your time to shine, to glow, to learn, to create. Life is in the doing and once you know this you can decide where you should be to learn the most, with whom you should share time with to gain the most knowledge, and how you should use the learning and knowledge to become a better you.

Yes, that is a powerful thing to know, and a bit scary to think about. Accepting this power removes all excuses – “if only she hadn’t said that, I would be happier now” or “if that teacher had paid more attention, I wouldn’t have acted up so much in class” or “if my boss would only see the extra work I’ve done, then I would get that raise” and countless others.

Because I now accept the responsibility of being part of creating myself, I can approach uncomfortable situations with a perspective of a willingness to learn. I started my development with a conscious decision – to improve my social skills. Sounds easy, right? Not for me. I was socially inept, awkward, and unable to connect with people. But I knew that others had overcome adversity and emotional issues and saw that I could do it, too. I just didn’t know how.

This is when I realized the next important lesson about self-development – to be successful; you must do it with the help of other people. I knew an older woman who had what I wanted; self assurance, courage, wisdom and a lot of friends who cared about her well-being. I had spent some time with her over the years, had shared a cup of coffee or two and talked about life in general. This time, though, when I called to ask her out for a cup of coffee, I had an agenda. I told her the traits I admired in her and asked if she would be willing to help me change myself, to develop those traits in myself. She asked me one question “Are you willing to do things differently?” Thank goodness I said yes.


This is where real self-development began for me. Sharing a cup of coffee at her kitchen table, I would talk about a situation I had encountered and she would tell me how I could have done it differently. For instance, a poorly executed performance review with my boss resulted in my freezing up and not responding to examples that were clearly misrepresented and untrue. Because I was self-conscious and had limited confidence in my ability to articulate my thoughts, I simply said nothing. Her answer to this problem was this solution: when an event is expected, like the performance review, I am to participate in the review by examining my past performance. It was important that I be honest with myself about unmet expectations, incomplete work, and negative outcomes…as well as successful projects, expectations that were exceeded and positive outcomes. She agreed to help me by meeting with me one month before the next scheduled review. And we did. And the next review was quite different because I was armed with solid information about my performance. I could agree on some points made, I could disagree with other points made because I was prepared and had facts in front of me.

By the time I reached my late 30s I was confident in my ability to socialize in any age group, in any business setting and in any situation I found myself in. A willingness to do things differently combined with practicing the tasks my friend suggested to me made it possible.

When I wanted to add public speaking to my marketing plan for my business I joined Toastmasters. Sure, I could have taken a course online or even at a community college about public speaking, but I know the value of having people tell me to my face how to improve myself. I also know the value of being accountable for taking responsibility to change. Because of this, Toastmasters has helped me develop my presentation skills to the point where I could say yes to being asked to present at a national conference – twice in one year!

I started this journey of conscious self-development while in my 20s, and now that I’m in my 40s I know that the struggle of changing myself is worth the effort, because it is through the struggle that I get closer to becoming the woman I really want to be.

Charlene Burke is an online marketing and independent information professional. She is CEO of Search by Burke, a boutique online marketing agency and Burke Research Services, a business research firm.  She is serious about business and working with clients, and thinks life is better when injected with humor throughout the day. She usually has three to four novels being read at any given time, thinks Star Trek Voyager was the best one ever, and believes Superman is better than the Knight in Shining Armor. She can be reached at info@searchbyburke.com, followed on Twitter at @CharleneBurke and @SearchbyBurke, and writes two blogs Burke’s Bits and Search by Burke.

Related posts:

1. The Destination and The Journey
2. Uncommon Lives: Mary McManus
3. Guess who is now on Twitter…?

Take a deep breath in – can you smell it? Spring is just around the corner!

With less than one month to go until we officially enter the spring season (and only several weeks before we set the clocks forward here in the USA), it is time to begin to think about one of my favorite activities of the year: spring cleaning.

The past few days the weather here in Boston has been bright, sunny, and hinting that warmer weather and green sprouts are not as far as away as we think.  And in this environment, my mind has turned away from hibernating to throwing open the windows and cleaning out the grime – physically and emotionally.

When you live an Uncommon Life, spring cleaning means more than just dusting the tables and washing the floors; it means refreshing the mind, body, and soul in preparation for a super productive and successful summer and fall. It is a whole-self event, that entails sprucing up both your physical space and your emotional one.

So for all those other Uncommoners out there who are itching for the promise of spring as much as I am, I present to you the 7 spring cleaning tips every Uncommoner should know (and use) – what would you add to this list?

• Clear Out Clutter – Clutter can build up around us slowly over time, steadily compromising our ability to concentrate, be creative, and get down to business. Re-evaluate the clutter in your home: is it at a manageable level or is it getting in your way? Does it interfere with your ability to relax, to sleep, or to work?  Start to reduce your clutter and see how much better you will feel mentally – you will be surprised.  Read more about de-cluttering clutter here.
• Dust Away I Can’ts - How often do you think about quitting your job, starting that project, or sitting down to write that novel and find yourself saying “I Can’t”?  I Can’t is the death knell of any uncommon adventure – just remember what Henry Ford say, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.” Next time you hear yourself starting to say “I can’t,” just try replacing with with “I can try.”  Before you know it, you will be writing that 2 weeks notice letter, getting funding in place, or putting pen to paper!
• Air Out Your Uncommon Vocation – As the new season starts, consider where you are going with your Uncommon Vocation. Is it a well defined goal, or is it still a nebulous kernel of an idea? Air out the fog around your Uncommon Vocation and take time to really figure out what you want to do.  Clarity is the first step to accomplishment!
• Vacuum Up Procrastination – If you have been reading this website for months and keep thinking, “I’ll sit down and start doing those exercises/think about those things later,” I have just one question for you: what are you waiting for! There is no room for procrastination in an Uncommon Life – time is a gift that we have that should not be squandered. If you find yourself procrastinating doing any of the things you have been meaning to do, whether it is start your Uncommon Vocation, get in shape, or repair that relationship, stop waiting and start doing!
• Fix-Up Your Health – Everyone things that January is the time to start a new weight loss program or join a gym, but really the best time to join is March or April when meetings and gyms are less crowded (all the fairweather new year’s resolutions having been given up).  Spring is a time of new beginning and new life, why not breath some new energy and health into your body by taking better vitamins, getting more exercise, or eating better? A healthy body yields a healthy (and productive) mind!
• Rearrange Your Routine – If you are feeling bored by your daily winter routine, consider shaking things up a bit this spring to revitalize your energy levels and bring new excitement to your daily activities.  Get up a few hours earlier to go to the gym, join a new social group, or take a dance class.  Adding in some new activities and changing your routine can help keep your mind alert and your energy high.
• Cleanse Your Spirit – Consider adding in some meditation, yoga, or other calming exercise into your life to help you cleanse your spirit and let go of negativity.  Winter is always a time of padding insulation (of the physical or emotional kind) around ourselves; this spring, open your mind and your spirit with some type of soulful activity.

And of course the most important tip for spring cleaning: remember to smile – spring is coming, after all!

Here’s to your Uncommon Life,

*Don’t forget to sign up for the new and improved – and free! – TLU newsletter by clicking here or enrolling below:

Related posts:

1. How to Prepare for Daylight Savings Time
2. Start Your Day the Uncommon Way
3. Why You Need to Clear Your Clutter